Sexy Suki just got sexier – So I keep a pet vulture! What’s it to you? Actually, I had ordered a new buzzer for the front door and they sent me a buzzard by mistake. I didn’t have the heart to send it back and it’s been a case of non-stop carry-on ever since!
My pussy pendulum – Yes, my intimate jewellery can be shocking to some but is it my fault if people keep staring at my naked pussy?
Thirsty work – I suppose I did ask for this but what I was really hoping for was a nice cold lager.
My motor is still running – It was kind of my boss to step into the breach when he saw my pussy in mid-drip, don’t you think?
Can Tom save the day? – As it happened he remembered exactly where I’d thrown off my bra and I was not late for my appointment. And the Peeping Tom guy did take more nude photos of me subsequently but this time he paid me model rates.
Suki can’t match a Dublin girl – Too right I can’t! No pay, no play!
Suki comes with the room – When you’re having sex with a celebrity you do make an extra effort, I find. It’s a pity that it wasn’t the whole rat pack fucking me but I guess you can’t have everything.
Massaging Miss Suki – We did set this young guy right regarding his wages and as far as I know he’s still massaging strippers in New York to this very day.
My roaring hot pussy – Of course, I can multi-task but if you fuck me in the kitchen you can’t reasonably expect to get a perfectly cooked meal straight after, can you?
Torturing Suki – Is it just me or do you agree I’m getting it a little too rough here?
Suki gets the gag – Religious nutters are a complete joke, aren’t they? It’s 2016 for fuck’s sake, you asshole.
Probing for the devil of it – For all their piety the religious headcases are the first who want to see women naked and fondle their privates. Any excuse will do!
A giant in my cunt – Of course, it’s a power trip for them. They sicken me. My pussy is as tight as the next girl’s when I’m standing next to Kimmy anyway.
As the Bishop said to the actress – I’m not acting here. This is fucking sore, OK!
Resisting God’s love – Keep your God and give me a nice soft mattress with fluffy scented pillows.
What a rack! – Yes, my breasts do look perky here but I’m not enjoying this. Honestly, I’m not.
Don’t you cross me – Nothing on Earth would ever make me want to be a Christian. They’re just a bunch of sick perverts.
Better than a tattoo – What a relief to get that dildo out of my anus! As for the branding, I’ll have to take that up with the Bishopric, I suppose. No logos on Suki will be my slogan.
About fucking time – Now, this is what I signed up for. Did we really have to go through all that religious mumbo-jumbo to get to here?
At Her Majesty’s pleasure – High time I got a little of my own back, don’t you think?
Sexy Suki fucked in Chinatown – You’ve got to hand it to them – they did put one (or fifteen) over on me, alright. Well, they do all look the fucking same!
Wearing protection – These nurses have the right idea with their metallic underwear. I’m the one who didn’t count on having to deal with a hospitalised superhero!
Suki and Red at Comic Con – Don’t ask me who the Zombie Smeller is. I’m not really into comics, although my friend Red is and I’m definitely into her breasts.
Can I have my husband back, Suki? – I was really too drunk to know whose husband this was. I just wanted a good old-fashioned smooch in the moonlight.
Slow progress – If this is the rate he undresses me at, what is it going to be like when he fucks me?
The milky way – You wouldn’t expect anything else from me, would you?
Weight loss made easy – As fitness programmes go, this one works!
Sex toys for Suki – Well, serves him right for not covering every eventuality. You gotta be smart to get a Suki!