Suki Jensen-Ramirez
Suki Jensen-Ramirez

Cowgirls v Squaws

Ready for the Daisy Duke look-a-like contest – In with a good chance of winning is Miss Off-the-Shoulder-Off-the-Hip. In the overall comparison between Cowgirls and Squaws I think the end result will be even, a squaw draw, if you like or even if you don’t like.

Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders’ one foot salute to the opposition – A good idea of mine to raise the leg instead of giving the one-fingered greeting to opponents. It still expresses the same sentiment but more subtly, I think.

Cheap jeans – You get the quality you pay for as these girls discovered. A few days in the saddle and your Made-in-Taiwan denims are fucked.

Exploring the trail – Washing the jeans and tee-shirt in the river was obviously a mistake! Burst into tears or try to look cool is the choice here.

Hey-ho, Silver – This horse-whisperer, clearly a goody, has an advantage. She can grind her pussy and whisper sweet nothings to her pony at the same time.

Tonto chunders – After a rough night drinking firewater our faithful Indian companion vomits up the previous evening’s ration of beans.

Chief So Ostentatious – She thinks she’s going to win the event hands up, but she ain’t. Are you surrendering at Little Big Horn or what, princess?

High noon – Round about this time of day her nipples are so erect and hard that she has to talk them down before they jump.

How the West was won – Forget wagon trains and the railroad. It was pretty girls smiling and big tits that created America as we know it today!

Saddle-sore Sally – She can hardly walk except bow-legged and she can’t sit down. She has to prop herself up against the barn door and pray that a good friend will empty a bucket of cold water over her steamy hot ass. Be right there, Sally babe.

Clean getaway – I know this bathtub is inadequate for the task facing it. Poor Blondie has to wash each of her limbs separately. However, this way we get to see so much more of her. Shucks! Knew there had to be a reason why we didn’t offer her use of the full-sized tub.

A touch of the teepees – She’s waiting patiently for Big Chief Doggystyle to visit the wigwam. And what a nice wigwam it is too!

Injun trouble – This pussy admiration ritual is performed immediately prior to a serious fucking-session. It aims to make sure the rain holds off until they’ve finished cavorting on the Reservation lawn.

Running Water taste good – The Dom-Squaw is licked by her Sub after using the little outside loo teepee.

Keep look-out for cavalry – The final clean-up before the brave squaws head off to Custer’s last stand at the local exhibition centre.

Big Chief Not Amused – The toilet ritual is watched by an impatient Warrior Chief who is keen to get the War Party mounted and whooping.

Back to Earth Mother – The squaws, however, have other ideas. They’re just interested in getting back to nature and fucking each other.

Better than Sex-with-Pony – Some squaws prefer to have sex with their horses. It’s understandable in some cases. You just can’t blame those ponies.

Three in orgy better than two – Sign language is used here to indicate that a threesome beats a duo every time. How right that is!

Cowgirls reverse horse – When you have a horse that doesn’t like the water you have to back him slowly into the river so that he doesn’t see the distance he has to cross. The cowgirls aren’t exactly sympathetic to the animal’s plight.

She-Who-Fucks-Tractor – This cowgirl doesn’t like her Indian name and who can blame her? She is fond of a go on the big wheel though. She better tread carefully.

Barnstormer – “I something Texas.” “I bullshit about Texas?” “I steer Texas?” “I Texas mad cow?” I’m not sure what this tee-shirt means but I think I get the message from the unzipped shorts. She’s saying that she fucks in barns and that’s good enough for me.

Locked and loaded – And pointing at you! This farmhand has plenty to get off her chest and it looks as if she’s made up her mind who is going to help her!

Quick-on-the-draw – No six-guns but this little lady has got you covered. I’m gonna count to three …

Sure of a lift – That’s one way to ensure you get a ride on the interstate. Highway pussy at its finest.

Running Bare – Perhaps she should change her name to Walking Bare. Whatever she does I hope she keeps her last name. Fucking Bare would suit her well.

Give me firewater – This must be her sister Drinking Bare. I approve, honey. You can distil yourself over me anytime.

Wise Warrior – Also known as “Dances-with-Cleavage!” She’s carefully assessing the situation before deciding whether to attack or let you buy her a drink.

Crazy Maisie – This girl is neither a Chief nor a genuine Indian. The head-dress doesn’t fit her and she’s also white. You’re not fooling anyone, sweetheart. Get a life!

Cavalry is on the way – “White man is coming on many horses. When they see tits, I am fucked!”

Great Chief Suki – Native American Me is proud to hide in undergrowth when white man approach. I way too pretty to be slaughtered today.

Too many Chiefs – “Heap too many Chief, not enough regular Indian. Me not fight white devil. Follow example of wise Chief Suki and live for next time.”

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Suki Jensen-Ramirez




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