Taking a good look at myself – I’m assessing the situation, taking stock of my assets and trying to work out a marketing plan for my pussy. Is it my imagination or am I getting hotter with each passing day? I’m a writer, porn actress, erotic dancer, bisexual escort, glamour model, masseuse and sex addict (with preference for open-air events). That much is clear but what are my key selling-points, I ask myself?
Delusions of grandeur – They’re not delusions, honey. I have myself pretty well sussed and reckon I deserve this crown. I may be the self-appointed “Princess of Hearts” but it was a tough interview and I suspect taking off my thong mid-sentence was the clincher.
Where is my next fuck coming from? – Having established my indicator arrow on the shagability scale, all I have to worry about is who will screw me next. I shall wait here on this woodland pathway for him or her to arrive.
I’m in trouble – No, I’m not! I just let my imagination wander for a bit there. I’m not pregnant, certainly not from a sink plunger or cream whisk.
Keep your hair on – Oh, it’s me doing the fucking! How quaint! Surely blonde hair was made for pulling, wasn’t it?
Grab a passing pussy – Well, I’ll just reel in a pussy and a tit and see what transpires, shall I?
Long kiss goodnight – Yummy, a kiss. This one lasted for two hours.
Embarrassment factor – Even though I’ve been in porn films, worked as a lap dancer and a stripper, I still get embarrassed when a guy looks me straight in the pussy. Just for a moment, mind you.
It doesn’t stop me – I still go all mushy in his arms while my pussy positively slurps up the cum from his cock as soon as he releases it into me.
On top of the situation – It doesn’t take me long before I’m in the driving seat. While my pussy can go wild, my face can still stay demure. It’s a gift, I guess.
Working as a masseuse – I much prefer giving a full service to all body parts while being naked, of course. As a masseuse you manipulate flesh to bring about positive results and nowhere is this more observable than in the genital area.
Fluffing up – Yes, I’ve done my share as a fluffer-upper while on a porn set. Everyone has to do their bit in the interests of “Art,” don’t they? Art told me he was grateful afterwards.
Taking a collection – Sometimes if you do your fluffing too well the actors have no spunk left for the actual filming. Serves them right, I reckon.
Getting a reputation – I don’t know why I’m sucking this guy’s cock. This isn’t a porn film set and he isn’t pointing the gun at me. My reputation has preceded me. My excuse is that it’s a nice cock, I guess.
Expecting it kinky – I suppose once you have a reputation everyone wants it to be kinky. Only myself to blame!
Take the tablet – He sent me a picture of his cock! Did he really think that would impress me?
Getting a little extra – Yeah, have a good feel, old timer. You’re paying through the nose for it after all. No, it’s not Jacky Chan. He’s much older.
Outdoor pursuits – So I’m still on this woodland path being fucked by a string of guys. This one is quite handsome, in this light anyway.
Water way to go – Out on the lake it’s fuck me in the boat time. When his cock gets tired he may have to use the oar.
Tree hugging a speciality – It’s a slack period and to all the world I’m doing a spot of environmentally friendly tree hugging. Only the racoon that follows me around and I know that the tree is probably a better lover than a lot of the guys.
Communing with nature – A talking racoon! Whatever will they think of next?
The Suki service – My, the woods are busy today. My anus/pussy choice challenge seems to be popular with the punters.
Silky skills – Hooray! I’m the star in my own sandwich. These two guys have never had it so good. With extra relish, too!
Hungry for cock – I’m still gobbling away even though the shot for my marketing promo DVD is safely in the can. The guys delivered their lines really well, didn’t they?
Anonymous sex in public – They’ve done their parts, now it’s my line. Shit! I’ve forgotten it. Can we go again from the top, guys? Has anyone got a copy of the script? Places for a re-take, everybody.
Yet another orgy – It’s all happening outdoors today. I can’t believe it’s not butter.
Red means go – I’m glad that just the two of us came inside. This little redhead never fails to get me going. She has a perfect cunt.
Club 33 – Later that evening at Club 33 we decide to phone a friend and have a threesome. It’s all those threes in the nightclub that bring it on, you know!
Chance to whip Suki – So all those genteel ladies who don’t like the concept behind Pussy Pendulum Island theme park are getting the chance to vent their anger on me. I’m expecting a real working over from those, and they are legion, who are unfamiliar with the term “irony.”
So much choice – Seven girls, all keen to fuck one another. I wouldn’t dream of holding them back. You go for it, sweeties!
Disneyland Paris – Ooops! We’ve acquired another two while going through the Channel Tunnel. The more the merrier, folks!
Magic carpet ride – And so we come to the end of another ride on the magic carpet. I’m still on the look-out for people to fuck me, though. This seat could be reserved for you on the next trip. Kiss, kiss!