A new toy to play with – Don’t you just love that instant of mutual attraction when you just know in a split second you are going to fuck each other. Obviously the love-at-first-sight thing is overrated but when you meet someone who could be your twin sister, you seem to know instinctively you have to shag them. OK, it’s a bit like fucking yourself at first, but when you get into it you really feel fulfilled, you know?
Suki in Sugarland – It all starts with an innocent little touch between the legs and before you know it your libido stands to attention and you’re shagging like there’s no tomorrow. What could be sweeter than a trip to Sugarland on the Express?
Hotel break – Not every piece of attention I get is welcome, though. I don’t consider myself to be a pensioner’s perk unless they are very, very (and I do mean very, very, very) wealthy.
Mirror, mirror – Who is the fairest of them all then? I’ll have you know, mirror buddy, that this ass is used to playing in the major leagues. My pussy is the princess of pussies and don’t you forget it!
Horsing around – Just because you have wings and I once worked as a waitress it does not make you a pilot and me a willing stewardess, hombre. I’m only tolerating this because of the eighteen inch long tongue. Clear?
Dead parrot – This parrot isn’t dead. It’s fucking the ass off me and I want it to stop. You’re just a toucan bird and not the co-pilot you think you are, kiddo.
Me first – This is more like it. A guy who actually puts my needs first. Where did he spring from? Surely there can’t be more like him?
Reciprocation – Of course, I have to give as good as I got. I love rolling my tongue around a big, juicy cock and sucking the life out of it while my head bobs for those two apples in that sack!
Guarantee of satisfaction – My lips have never let me down yet. Fire away, big guy! Get it out of you and all over me. Don’t forget in my hair and eyes too.
Getting greedy – Now that I’ve started, I’ll finish. These Turkish cops are great in an emergency situation. When you need both ends plugged they come highly recommended (mostly by me).
It’s going to tickle – I know but the guy’s a millionaire. He can tickle my thighs and my pussy all he wants. I just wish he didn’t remind me so much of Santa Claus. It makes me think that it’s my dad who is fucking me and that’s an uncomfortable thought (leastways for my dad)!
Surprise party – I need something to clear my head. My favourite redhead ought to do it. She loves it when I sneak up behind her and grab her tits and pussy. It’s our special thing!
Red she-devil – She’s a wild tiger in bed. We have so much in common it’s uncanny.
Seeing red – This was the photographer on my latest photoshoot. I was so horny after half an hour that I just had to shag him. He was a bit taken aback at the start, I think.
Seen to – After a while he seemed to get more enthusiastic while I just got wilder and wilder. I was well and truly fucked. Just perfect!
Winding down – It took forever to wind down afterwards. I just clung to him and luxuriated in the warmth and glow of the candles.
Sex in the (gr)ass – Ever since it became generally known that I’m willing to take it in the anus (albeit reluctantly) the world and his wife seem to be standing in line to fuck me there. What is it about assholes, I ask myself?
Good news – This is bad news? What is wrong with this guy? It’s the best news I’ve had all day. Some people are strange, you know?
Loyalty issues – Everyone has loyalty issues from time to time. Should one stay faithful to one’s mistress and forget about cock? When I’m the mistress I reckon there’s no choice to make, but when I’m the slave I’m not so sure. The simple solution may be to just go with the flow and leave it up to the guy.
Police liaison – I’m fully supportive of the police, whether they be gendarmes or Turks. As long as they shag me they’ll get my vote every time.
Hookah time – A hooker with a hookah! Now, there’s a surprise. When you’re a Turkish delight it’s obligatory, apparently. A girl has to relax between shags, doesn’t she?
Hot sex – I’m just sitting here peacefully and hardly moving a muscle. The guy is doing all the thrusting from below and it’s pure heaven. I should really pin a medal on him but I’ll plant a kiss instead.
Domestic problems – Bliss it isn’t when the servants are rebelling. I guess I should never have fucked her that one time. It’s given her ideas above her station.
Demanding little madams – Speaking of which I could do without the daily lecture from her ladyship. The only way to shut her up is to fuck her but I’ll wait until she stops to draw breath before pouncing.
Anyone for pussy? – Now that I’ve taken care of all my domestic duties I think it’s time for some more shagging. Anyone for pussy, then? Nice hot pussy, no strings! Going once, going twice …
Just in time – Sold to the naked lady who could be my twin sister, if I had one. It’s a bit like shagging in the mirror. Fuck me!