Perfect peach – You’ll have to box clever if this is your favourite heroine.
Balmy Pammy – Oops, the old string vest is acting up again. So much to put in it, I guess.
Little black dresses – At the annual Little Black Dress convention in Portrush the cameramen had a hard time fitting them all in but fortunately found some time to take photographs too.
The first leg – I’ve always wanted a calf and now I’ve got this one I ain’t lettin’ go.
Brown-eyed girl – Hurry up. I think the tide’s coming in.
Take the plunge – Just checking. Yes, they’re still there. Sometimes I forget I have them.
Snub that nose – Toes? I didn’t even see the camels.
Always been in tents – My first day at the harem I really want to impress the other wives.
Hard at work – You know, reading this Pussy Pendulum novel has made my nipples like solid steel buttons.
Peek-aboo – Having my hair like this saves me buying an eye-patch for my dodgy eye.
Pipe down – What? A girl can’t blow bubbles if she wants to?
Little cutie – You need a Song in your heart like I do.
Flight plan – This box really cools my tummy and does wonders for my balancing skills. Please tell me there are brakes on it.
Say when – My new business associate is a show-off. Even getting a cup of coffee she turns into a Hollywood mini-series.
Perfect secretary – When she worked as a secretary she was always sucking up to her boss. She would kiss his ass almost as much as she’d kiss her own.
I only do floodlit – I’ve heard of posing but this is ridiculous. She really does have problems with moths in her walk-in wardrobe though.
Ask at reception – You can’t type and you don’t know how to photocopy. So tell us exactly why we should hire you, Missy?
Intimate confession – I’ve known this wall since I was a little girl. Sometimes I just sit here and talk to it and, you know, somehow I think it senses how I feel.
Chequered flag – I’m too good for this photograph. In fact, I’m too good for this dress and this hairstyle. I’m much more than a girl with a pearl earring.
Looking snappy – Just had to snap myself before getting back to my late husband’s memorial service.
Mission accomplished – Oops, better put my clothes back on. These mid-morning quickies with the boss are bound to be a big plus on my CV.
Silver fox – Well, it was a toss-up between me and the Christmas tree and I lost.
Monkey back guarantee – This creature just jumped on my back and sank its teeth into my shoulder. I would run only my sore knee means I might not make it to the monkey enclosure in time.
UFO spotted – Moon agent to Moon base, over. Come in, Moon base. I’ve reached Earth but apparently they don’t ride around on broomsticks like in Harry Potter.