Key to party planning is getting the right people to attend, so it’s important to draw up a guest list as well as a reserve list and be selective. Your “A” list should include people who are beautiful, sexy and intelligent (aka the women). Your “B” list can include people who are wealthy, funny and powerful (aka the men). Then you could have a “C” list with people who are all of these things but you can’t quite work out whether they’re women or men.
It’s worth making an extra effort if you’re on the “A” list but be careful not to overdo your make-up or hairstyling. It’s easy to get carried away.
Your dress should be suitable for the occasion. Don’t wear this dress for your grandmother’s 70th birthday party or the church social.
Try not to go over the top on the bling. Understatement and subtlety should be your watchwords.
Of course, if it’s a beach party then less can often be more. There is nothing inherently wrong in wearing the same as your twin.
On the beach pretty much anything goes and a cool drink is an essential accessory.
If it’s a costume party on the beach and you call tails, be prepared to take the consequences. These can include being deserted on the shoreline, hypothermia and ending up in a fish finger.
Party games can sometimes be an ice-breaker but generally you shouldn’t ask people aged over eleven to build sandcastles. They just won’t stay the course.
Office parties can bring people who work together just that little bit closer as a team. Just be careful how much you drink or flirt.
Too much flirtation and alcohol can lead to all sorts of problems. For example, your boss may expect this level of cooperation from you every day.
A good venue for an office party can be the rooftop of your building. The sunshine helps people to relax and mingle freely.
Be careful, though, that the mingling doesn’t start on the stairs on the way up to the rooftop.
If the worst comes to the worst it only takes one person plus alcohol to turn any venue into a party location, hic!
In spite of what some people may tell you, it isn’t always necessary to have a live band at your party. Obviously she has ignored the advice about what to wear.
Over-indulgence in alcohol can be tempting. Try to think – “What would Marilyn do?”
People will expect there to be nibbles to accompany the drink. If you’ve forgotten them or run out, try to improvise.
Regular party-goers, including those with dodgy hair-extensions, will soon find snacks appropriate to their moods.
Most people will be willing to share whatever fare is on offer.
It’s probably best just to let them tuck in.
Where conflicts do arise, the introduction of additional alcohol can usually lead to an amicable compromise.
If there isn’t sufficient seating for everyone at your party venue, people will usually be willing to sit on the edge of a seat to allow others to sit down.
Others will be happy to mingle while standing up.
If another woman attempts to kiss you at a party you should always allow this. There are three reasons why you should never refuse. 1) It will turn on any male admirers. 2) It will keep other boring women away from you. 3) It will turn on any male admirers.
If you have dancing at your party always remember that dancing leads to fucking. You have been warned.
In the unlikely event that you find yourself on the shelf at your own party, just get on your mobile at once and invite people from your reserve lists over straight away.
Remember - a tired pussy is usually a happy pussy. When it’s ready for bed it will find the right place to curl up in contentment.
Another option is to resort to toys. It may take some experimentation before you find the right one for you.
Once you have the correct ambiance and the right implement, there will be no stopping you. Party fever will take over.
If it’s your birthday, plan a special treat. Your friends will be more than willing to help you.
If you’re not a member of the jet set yet, you can still be a member of the jetty set.
Poolside parties invariably bring out the best in people. Cooperation in achieving one’s goals becomes second nature.
If you can’t run to the expense of a proper pool, an inflatable plastic one in the garden will serve almost as well.
Whatever you do, make sure you have a ball … or two!
And if it ends in a sleep-over, remember that eating strawberries (or chewing on cherries) in bed may be just a tad too decadent, even for the liberated young women of today. What do you mean you don’t go to the same kind of parties as I do?