Hitching a ride – Let’s go on a trip and take a peep at sexuality in the big wide world out there. No need for clothes or luggage, all we need is our birthday suit and that tingle of horniness to perk us up. Let your cock or pussy be your guide.
Auto erotic – Be grateful to anyone who picks you up along the way. We all like to be thanked and what better way to express genuine appreciation than this?
Negotiating a ride – For a girl her pussy is her passport to wherever she wants to go. See how far yours will take you. You might be surprised.
Travelling first class – Always endeavour to travel first class if you can, even if it means taking a few risks.
Beach bitch – Head for the ocean, find the right boat and the right travelling companion and the world will be your oyster.
Looking for crabs – In warmer climes you are likely to have more fun. So get naked and stay that way as much as you can.
Lorry load – When it comes to getting lifts you may need to make a payment in kind in advance. Go for it!
Romantic Paris – Fucking your way round Europe will broaden much more than your mind.
Garage fill-up – No cash? Your pussy beats MasterCard or Visa every time.
Sign of the times – Map reading ability really isn’t required when you have good clear road signage.
Stairway to heaven – Finding your planned destination may seem like searching for a needle in a haystack but you’ll make it in the end.
Supermarket special offer – Of course, you have to eat. Sometimes the big supermarkets have free give-aways. The staff will be happy to advise you.
Checkout girls – If you can’t pay for what you’ve selected, just wait until the checkout girls are distracted (shouldn’t be long) and then make your escape.
Cocktail hour – If you’re a guy with the right equipment you’ll generally find that the local girls will treat you to free drinks and entertainment.
Milking it – Of course, they may require something in return. Make sure you are able to deliver when called upon.
Showstopper – You may feel overwhelmed by so much pussy and not up to the task of satisfying everyone. Just do the best you can and your efforts will be applauded.
Waiting in line – So what if the demand is greater than the supply. Let them wait to take their turn. They’ll all get satisfaction eventually, won’t they?
Glove poppets – It’s OK, she used to work on the Muppet Show. Warning – sudden spasms can lead to a broken wrist.
Probing question – Talk to the pussy, ’cause the face ain’t listening. Making friends in the local bars is so much easier when you’re naked.
Pussy training – If you fall into bad company, let your pussy do the talking and you’ll generally come out of it the better for the experience.
Underground entertainment – In London be sure to sample the rich opportunity for social interaction afforded by the Underground train network.
Flexible friend – Hyde Park is a good spot to set out your stall. With the right marketing strategy you’ll soon get an audience.
Fingering doubt – If any plain clothes policemen want to search you for concealed weapons, just lay back and let them. It will be one less problem to deal with if you show willingness to cooperate.
Peeper spotted – Not everyone appreciates being spied on. If you’re caught out and deported for Un-British activities, at least you’ll have some pleasant memories to look back on.
All in the family – Back in the bosom of your family you’ll be welcomed with open arms and, indeed, in some families (in the Mid-West) open legs.