Hammock heaven – String theory is all very well but give me pussy theory every time. A pendulous pussy is waiting for you.

Playground swing – Where better to play with your pussy than swinging in a playground, exclamation mark!

Rope swing – You can’t see the join courtesy of Photoshop and a prime pussy.

Swinging – A demonstration of the daring laid-back technique. Only experienced swingers will try this.

Blonde swings – This professional swinger has perfected the toe grip if not the hair parting.

Petticoat swing – Aahhh, the maid is at it again. She can’t afford a razor on the money we pay her. Nor panties either apparently.

Swinging too – She’s an expert in the single-buttock reverse swing with knee-to-the-chin technique.

Swinging in the trees – Sideways on for that galloping-through-the-forest moment so beloved of Maid Mar Yi Ong, Robin Hood’s Asian bride.

Swinging by the river – A back-to-nature pussy performer with pendulous breasts to boot.

Swinging side-saddle – Another side-on swinger with added hypnotic ear decoration.

Swing away – Hip, hip, hip-hooray. This back-garden beauty knows how to wear a summer dress to best effect.

Swinging outdoors – Rock that pussy, Bimbolina. We want you out of the shade.

Swing that pussy – I see you have a cloth to catch the juices as your pussy enjoys the ride.

Swinging indoors – Looks like an open invitation to climb aboard.

Pussy glide – The tried and trusted fake falling-off manoeuvre to make sure your pussy collects its reward.

Pussy close-up – Now we know where the squirrels have been hiding their nuts this winter

The pit and the pussy – She’s just daring those squirrels to give it a go.

Playing the game – That looks like a nut-bearing pussy to me.

Country girl – What a beautifully picturesque view! I’d like to see more of it.

Rural delight – As I suspected the scenery is beautiful and so is the coastline in the background.

Flower girl – Parting is such a difficult thing to do correctly but I’m sure she’s trying her best.

Side board – That’s the idea. A real future as a Pendulum Pussy awaits.

Doubling up – Two for the price of one doesn’t always work smoothly and three is clearly out.

Swing to fuck – I suppose the more elaborate the swing the better are the chances of a good climax. Shaven squirrels obviously have an advantage.

Swinger with room for two more – Fancy a swing with Heidi? She has two vacancies to fill. All the details are below her left breast.