Suki Jensen-Ramirez
Suki Jensen-Ramirez

Pendulum pussies

Branching out – “They do say that snow is forecast.”
Forest gimp – “Still insisting you’ll vote for the Green Party at the next election?”
Having a ball – “So you told your boyfriend you didn’t like snooker. Then what?
Hung out to dry – “Know any good blond jokes, then?”
Ladies in waiting – “The worst part is knowing that the bastard has a wife as well.”
Loft extension – “Oh, I’ve got an itch on the tip of my nose.”
Red boots diary – “I’ve got a surprise for you, darling. In the basement.”
Tied up – “I really wish my breasts were both the same size.”
Tree lover – “OK, so I’m not a natural blond. Just untie me.”
Waiting for God knows – “I wish I’d done my nails a different colour. They completely take away from the effect.”
Well hung – “I wonder what will happen when those three guys get back from the pub.”
Ready to roast – “I know I shouldn’t have said they were the neighbours-from-hell but I didn’t expect them to take it personally.”
Shandy delights – Shandy can really light up a room and what dress sense!
Secrets of the woodshed – “I’m sorry for criticising your bowling technique and I’ll never wear blue socks again, I promise.”
Ready to use – “Of course, I can’t remember the safe word. We started with the ropes three days ago.”
Barnstormer – “OK, but when we’re done you still have to mow the lawn and repair my bicycle.”
Caught in the machine – “Darling, I think this playing with your meccano set has got a bit out of hand.”
We have to talk – “Darling, I’m beginning to think that the gasman wants to do a bit more than just read the meter.”
Flying tonight – “But I don’t look in the least like a Spitfire, dear.”
Hanging about – “I’ve left the garage door slightly ajar so that the teenage boys from next door are sure to come in and find me. So exciting!”
Hanging loose – “Typical. He pulls down my panties and is about to use the riding crop when the cricket club phone and say they want their sight-screen back.”
Hanging out – “I want to be taller, I want to be taller, I want to be taller …”
X-factor – “I knew I had the X-factor. I just didn’t think it would hurt my nipples and strain my pussy so much.”
Nip and fuck – “That reminds me I still have the washing to hang out and tomorrow’s lunches to make.”

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Suki Jensen-Ramirez




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